Tag Archives: plundering

Fear the Crossing Guard

crossing guard

I also used to be
a crossing guard…
Money wasn’t great,
but to control the traffic!!!
That is power,

Wow, our Viking from last week has really gone downhill (yep, this would be a second yet equally strange email from him) – from Nordic Overlord to school crossing “cop”. I’d say he’s taking it in stride, though, don’t you think? I mean, if I had gone from sailing the seas and plundering foreign nations all with horns on my head to making a Toyota Corolla stop for a kid in a crosswalk, I’d probably fall into a serious depression and contemplate stabbing myself with those leftover horns.

But not The Viking. Oh no, he will wield the power of his whistle and safety vest because LIVES ARE IN HIS HANDS. You tell that Corolla who’s boss!

Thanks, Jwhandyman of Freaking News!



Filed under WTF

The Viking


How long have you been
a Viking?
Being a Viking
has always been my goal…
All that plundering,
over eating
and drinking….
Now that is living.

We all learn something new every day, right?  Well, unless you’re sitting on your couch all day because you overdid those tequila shots last night, in which case you learn that you should never shoot tequila again – at least until next weekend.  But I digress – I have indeed learned something about myself today, and it didn’t require oodles of tequila.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am apparently a Viking.  Well, *&#% me 3 ways ’til Sunday!  And all this time I thought I was British, Native American, and German…

So I guess I should be wearing horns and plundering, huh?  Can girls even do that…?


Filed under WTF