Monthly Archives: June 2010

Name that wild animal!

hi there.

How on Earth did you end up
next to a tiger?
Must be
a good story there!
What can you share
about singing?
Have a favorite composer?
OK,
that’s enough questions
for now!

When I was 2 years old, my grandmother came to help take care of me while my father had surgery. My father had an older-than-dirt green pickup truck with CHEVROLET spelled in big white letters on the tailgate. I was just learning to read a few words at this ripe old age, so one day when my grandmother and I were walking around the yard (ok, Granny was walking – I was doing that groovy toddler waddle), my grandmother pointed at the truck tailgate and said to me, “My dear, can you spell that?” I promptly started rattling off the letters. “C-H-E-V-R-O-L-E-T.”

“Wonderful, sweetheart! Now what does that spell?”

“Truck.”

So folks, here’s your lesson for the day:  C-H-E-V-R-O-L-E-T spells “truck”, and cheetahs look just like tigers.   I mean, I totally thought I was petting a tiger until the cheetah set me straight.

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Filed under Dumber than a 5th grader

Fear the Crossing Guard

crossing guard

I also used to be
a crossing guard…
Money wasn’t great,
but to control the traffic!!!
That is power,
ha…

Wow, our Viking from last week has really gone downhill (yep, this would be a second yet equally strange email from him) – from Nordic Overlord to school crossing “cop”. I’d say he’s taking it in stride, though, don’t you think? I mean, if I had gone from sailing the seas and plundering foreign nations all with horns on my head to making a Toyota Corolla stop for a kid in a crosswalk, I’d probably fall into a serious depression and contemplate stabbing myself with those leftover horns.

But not The Viking. Oh no, he will wield the power of his whistle and safety vest because LIVES ARE IN HIS HANDS. You tell that Corolla who’s boss!

Thanks, Jwhandyman of Freaking News!


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Filed under WTF

The Viking

viking

How long have you been
a Viking?
Being a Viking
has always been my goal…
All that plundering,
over eating
and drinking….
Now that is living.

We all learn something new every day, right?  Well, unless you’re sitting on your couch all day because you overdid those tequila shots last night, in which case you learn that you should never shoot tequila again – at least until next weekend.  But I digress – I have indeed learned something about myself today, and it didn’t require oodles of tequila.  Ladies and gentlemen, I am apparently a Viking.  Well, *&#% me 3 ways ’til Sunday!  And all this time I thought I was British, Native American, and German…

So I guess I should be wearing horns and plundering, huh?  Can girls even do that…?

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Good email of the month

Hi

You have
a very interesting profile!
Is opera
your preferred singing style?
I’m starting
to listen to more classical music
and have wanted to listen to opera
for awhile,
but didn’t know where to start.
Do you
have any recommendations?
Agree re: the mango.
I bought a mango slicer
off of amazon
and it’s been awesome.
Well,
just wanted to say “hi.”
If my profile seems interesting to you,
I’d love to hear back.
Hope you’re having a good start
to your week.

Complete sentences!  Proper punctuation!  I have died and gone to grammar heaven.

Thank you, Say No to Crack!

Hats off to this guy (and his English teachers) for keeping it short, sweet, personal, AND introducing me to the concept of a mango slicer.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a mango slicer to shop for…

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Filed under Good Email of the Month